No More
by cfsilvermoon
Summary: Steph takes a drastic measure in Life.


AN: I just have to say that this song is a tear jerker on it's own. Please review I would like to know what you think. Italics denotes song lyrics.

All Characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I just play with them. Song is "Best I Ever Had" by Gary Allen

No More

_So you sailed away  
Into a grey sky morning  
Now I'm here to stay  
Love can be so boring  
And nothing's quite the same now  
I just say your name now_

I see him walking with his head down a think that this might be the time to make up with him. No matter what our differences; we will always have one thing in common. You. No matter where you may be; now we always will have you in common.

I know that I loved you more than anything. I am this big brave guy, but I always wonder why I could never say those three little words.

_But Its not so bad..  
You're only the best I ever had  
You don't want me back  
You're just the best I ever had_

I slowly walk up to his side. I am not sure that he is aware that I am there, but I hear him talking. I can only assume that he is talking to you.

"Cupcake, I know that you can hear me. I just wanted to say that you didn't have to do this. I would have let you choose who you wanted. I really wasn't trying to pressure you. I know this will not change what has happened, but just remember where ever you are 'I love you'." He was looking skyward and talking just above a whisper.

"Morelli," I said to get his attention. He turned to face me and I saw the same look of devastation that I felt. "I think this was a message to us. We may never be friends, but we should at least try to work together."

"Why did it have to be this way? Are we really both so ignorant that neither of us could have seen what we did to her?" He asked questions that have been floating around in my head all day. No answers were coming to me yet. I don't think that they ever will.

_So you stole my world  
Now I'm just a phony  
Remembering the girl  
Leaves me down and lonely  
We'll send it in a letter  
Make yourself feel better_

Silence falls between us as the tears start to fall. I know I have never shown emotion, but I feel that right now there is no way to fall into my normal neutral face. The pain is too much to overcome.

I remember the first time I met you. I kept thinking that you were a lost cause, but over the years you kept at it. Never giving up. I think that you made me fall in love with you. There is no other explanation for it. I kept trying to send you back to the man that wouldn't hurt you, but it turns out we both did.

_But Its not so bad..  
You're only the best I ever had  
You don't want me back  
You're just the best I ever had_

We look at each other and there really isn't more to say. Our pain is one and I think for the first time we understand one another. We both loved you and could only show it in different ways.

We both wanted you safe. He showed you this by trying to change you. I did this by pushing you away.

I realize now that you were probably right. Things with Morelli would have never worked, but they could have between us. I only needed to open my eyes to see it already was.

_And it might take some time  
To patch me up inside  
But I cant take it so I  
I run away and hide  
I might find it in time  
That u were always right  
You were always right_

It has been a few months since we had your wake and it still hurts to think about it. I see Morelli around town and he looks worse for the wear. We don't talk, but we have an agreement now. He stays out of my business I stay out of his. I want to talk to him to see if things are ok. No one really understands what I am going through except for him.

I feel myself slipping on the job. When that happens I know it is time to take a break. I usually go up to my apartment and look at the picture that I kept hidden. Most of the time I don't have to take it out, because everywhere I look I see you.

After I found you in my apartment I knew I loved you, but could never say it.

_So you sailed away  
Into a grey sky morning  
Now I'm here to stay  
Love can be so boring  
Was it what you wanted  
Could it be I'm haunted?_

I see him kneeling at your headstone. I walk up behind him knowing that he can sense me. It has become second nature I think. He turns his head and I see that it is still having the same affect on him as well.

"In this past year I have come to one conclusion. This is the hardest lesson I have ever learned." I say putting the orchid on top of your headstone before I turn and walk into the night.

_But It's not so bad..  
You're only the best I ever had  
You don't want me back  
You're just the best I ever had  
You're just the best I ever had..._

"Babe, I loved you so much."


End file.
